Man Cannot Live On Moronbloggers Alone

Of course, Acebogg isn't *just* about simply regurgitating posts from Ace of Spades and making snide remarks and posting imbecilic pictures.

No, it's so much more than that.

It's also indulging in a creepy amount of over-sharing about the details of my personal life with perfect strangers, in the strange, and yet oddly affirmed, belief that all of my readers care.

And with that: the pictures of my dog, wife, and children.

Here is my dog:



His name is "Mayor Harvey," named, of course, for San Fransisco Mayor Harvey Milk, gunned down in despicable act of Rethuglican rethugnacious rethuggery.

I named him that because it seemed like a slightly more obnoxious liberal cliche than "Che Guevera."

Next is me and my lovely wife Brenda showing Mayor Harvey at a "progressive" dog show.



On the Progressive Dog Show circuit, dogs are not evaluated according to racist standards such as being "best representative of their breed," but rather upon their ability to think about trees and the environment and other gay shit of this nature.

It also helps to have a name like "Mayor Harvey." We've won nine years in a row. I think we'll name the next one "Mother Cindy."

On to my children. Here is my beautiful daughter Tyler:



I hope I'm not revealing anything too personal when I say she scored a goal in her latest soccer game. And also, she just got her menses.

Here is my son, "Esquedor," which is Spanish for... I don't know, actually. My wife named him. Actually, my Dominican neighbor Jose suggested the name.



To be honest, I sort of think that this might actually be Jose's kid. He and my wife... well, let's just say they're closer than I might like. And Esquedor has Jose's eyes, and Jose's mouth, and also, strangely enough, Jose's last name.

But I'm cool with that. Unlike that Reich-Winger Ass of Spite, I'm totally cool with brown people. Not afraid of them at all.

Granted, I'd prefer if they didn't bang my wife, but still, even on that: I'm cool.

Anyway, now I will leave you with an obscure video that's supposed to indicate I possess a certain level of taste. It's very obscure "world music," which I know my liberal readership likes.



I hear it a lot. Usually when Jose is over, with my wife, upstairs, locked in the bedroom, supposedly "teaching her lambada," but in actuality clawing her back to shreds as he rides her like a rabid mountain-puma. It's hard as hell to finish my SuperChallenge SuDoko puzzles over the sounds of my wife screaming "Yo soy su putana!" at the top of her goddamned lungs.

But, once again: I am totally cool with that.

Totally cool. With that.

I just wish they wouldn't do it in front of Mayor Harvey. A champion's confidence can be so easily rattled.

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like An Open Thread

Look, Ace hasn't posted in the past hour. What do you want from me?

Is It Just Me... or is this really sort of starting to look like the standard-issue leftwing moronblog?

It's really just about repetively putting up the same crude "photo phunnies," I guess.



Verismillitude 'n shit.

Open Thread

This is harder than it looks. I've got to borrow from the other genius, Atrios.

Chickenhawk Pants-PooperPLAGIARIST Alert

Gee willickers, moron, this idea sounds slightly familiar:

Impressed by Tbogg's ability to do nothing but obsessively, creepily write about nothing but other bloggers, I've decided to try to top him.

My new blog, AceBogg, does nothing but link, quote, and comment snidely upon posts made on this, my main blog.

So I think I've topped him-- for now. He writes about nothing but other blogs, but AceBogg writes about nothing but my own blog.

I've got the silly pictures he posts and everything.

No fair! Idea-thief! Poop-hawk chicken-pants!



That's super-cool hero of mine, Morgan Spurlock, and the Idea Thief Ass of Spite.

Look At This Conservative Sissymary, Writing Pansy Shit Like This When He Should Be Over In Iraq Killing Brown People!!!

What a homo! He should do eight tours in Iraq like I did.

Remember all that crap about needing to rebuild the surplus and spend within our means?

The left doesn't.

Turns out -- if you can believe this -- it was nothing but election-year lies.

I don't know how I can soldier on. The world doesn't even make sense to me anymore.

Hah, I'll bet. Oh well, you know what they say-- another chickenhawk cocksucker!!!

Now How Fuckin' Dumb Is This Shit Right Here?

He's so retarded, he's like, I don't know, mentally retarded or something:

* Of course, it should be noted that Manly Keyboard Bravewarrior Tbogg is not afraid at all of Barack Obama. He, unlike me, is not afraid of any brown people.

Then again, like most liberals, he doesn't actually know any, either. It's easy to not be afraid of brown people when the only brown person you've ever seen is Cliff Huxtable. Cliff Huxtable isn't threatening, unless you're threatened by puckish sarcasm and constant nagging to go to a good college.

So stupid. Here's a picture expressing my thoughts about this post:

Can You Believe This Shit?

From "Ass" of "Spite:"

It might be considered phylumist to suggest, but the American people feel most comforted by a leader who shares similar values to themselves -- such as giving birth to live young, being warm-blooded, and having an endoskeleton supporting their body weight. "The American people have briefly flirted with non-mammalian candidates," says Dan Pfeiffer, a former staffer to the Evan Bayh campaign, as he tries to close out nineteens in our cricket rubber-match. "But they find reptiles too cold, they don't like they way their tongues flicker out and they don't get the whole 'swallowing mice whole' thing."

What. A. Moron.

Here's a silly picture to illustrate my pique: